Russia Gets it Wrong
Russian women taught how to get their man
What do you do if the majority of the men in your country seem so self-absorbed, feckless or dependent on the bottle that there aren’t enough to go round?
Russian women believe that they have found the answer, with growing numbers flocking to “bitch schools” that purport to provide a competitive edge in a dwindling market of suitable bachelors, or provide those already in relationships with the skills to bring their men to heel.
Twice a week, women stream into the Dubrovka theatre in Moscow. Four years ago, 129 people were killed there during a botched attempt to free an audience taken hostage by Chechen extremists. Today its backstage rooms are home to a night school run by Vladimir Rakovsky, a motivational speaker, and his wife, Yevgenia, who teach “bitchology”.
Well, if you think that means I’ve got job opportunities in Russia, think again:
A successful “bitch”, Mr Rakovsky explains, is neither strident nor sassy, but demure, manipulative and aware of her own sexuality in order to get her own way.
“Bitchology is the theory, practice and technique of being successful in a man’s world,” he said. “A smart woman gets what she wants by pretending to be weak.”
Weak? WTF??? How dare he pervert the “bitchness” to weakness. That makes me want to kick his ass. And it gets worse:
Lessons begin with the philosophy of “bitchology”. The “bitch” should win favours by acting either as a helpless baby or, in rare situations, like an adult woman.
Then its off to the “school of seduction” in which the women learn to attract the most discerning of men by flaunting their sexuality. This week, students learned how to a work a room full of men just by dropping something, and picking it up, to “accentuate the most beautiful part of your body”. “If it’s your breasts, flaunt them, if it’s your backside use it,” Mrs Rakovsky, 21, told them.
Next week, she will focus on how to surreptitiously rub one’s breasts against an unsuspecting subject. In the final lesson, the women learn the art of the striptease.
The Rakovskys’ students swear by the technique which, according to one, gives every Russian woman what she wants: “Great sex, money and a man who looks after you.”
and…
Natalya, 33, said: “If I play the role of a baby, my man begins to take care of me. He behaves like he has to protect me.”
Oh fuck that! I just might have to kill that bastard!!
Talk about lost in translation! Sheesh.
Comment by Anonymous Bitch — November 20, 2006 @ 1:47 pm
That’s wrong. It’s just wrong.
Talk about perverting an icon. We might have to go to war with Russia over this.
Those aren’t Bitches. They don’t know nuthin bout no stinkin bitches!!!
Comment by blathering bitch — November 20, 2006 @ 3:03 pm
Wait, WTF do the Chechen terrorists have to do with this?
Are they saying if you’re just bitchier, you won’t be a victim of terrorists?
PLEASE. If it were only so easy!
Anyway, what the fuck is wrong with those idiots? Pretend to be weak???
Comment by Snippy Bitch — November 20, 2006 @ 3:33 pm
Weak? That bastard is itching for a bitch slap.
Comment by Blabber Bitch — November 20, 2006 @ 3:40 pm
Somewhere they forgot even in nature alpha bitches don’t pretend to be weak.
Comment by Sly Bitch — November 20, 2006 @ 4:51 pm
Play the role of a baby? Sorry, real men want real women. They are setting themselves up for disappointment.
Bitches rule!!
Comment by Bitchalicious — November 20, 2006 @ 6:59 pm
No joke - definitely not bitchy behavior! C’mon, where’s the malicious snarking? Where’s the arrogant attitude? Where’s the bitch-slap of the inconsiderate idiot?
*feh!* Gawd, I hate amateurs!
[eeeeeeevil grin!]
Comment by BitchBitchBitch — November 20, 2006 @ 7:28 pm
What a bunch of bunk. I wouldn’t want a man that could only be attached to me if I was weak and needy. Hell I get bored and fed up with any person if they are needy all the time and I’m not a guy.
Like Bitchalicious said, “real men want real women.” Thank God!
Comment by Anonymous Bitch — November 20, 2006 @ 7:30 pm