Anonymous Bitches

November 28, 2006

Work Sucks

Filed under: Everything, Just Bitchn'

I love my job, but I hate the people who run the show. We’ve known for months that there was a big planning retreat coming up Tuesday - Thursday of this week, a retreat that would require us to stay in a hotel for 3 days.

What we didn’t know was where it would be. We knew we needed to be there at 7:30am tomorrow, but the location wasn’t revealed until 8:37am this morning. Yep. Less than 25 hours before we are to be there.

The kicker? Rooms are available at the hotel tonight, you know, in case we just happen to bring a 3 days suitcase to work every day.

November 24, 2006

The Price Tag on a Penis

You see the man and woman on the right? You think they are equal in the workplace?

THEY AREN’T.

Look at their faces. She is serious and he is smug. THAT is because, if they do the exact same jobs, he is making at a minimum $20,000 more a year for that very same job than she is. And in all likelihood, she works twice as hard and is at least twice as productive. To top that off, she undoubtedly goes home and does all the housework, cooking, laundry and nurturing of the children and husband.

On the other hand, he will be invited to join all the men’s civic clubs. It’s part of his job, after all. So he’ll spend his time on the golf course and smoosing with the movers and shakers while she’s buried up to her eye-freaking-brows in budgets, public relations and staffing problems. He’ll be praised for how well the place runs while he’s sitting in the sauna at the club.

The difference is one has a penis and the other doesn’t.

Don’t misunderstand. I’ve been on both ends of the employment spectrum. I’m been employee and employer. I know that employees think the boss doesn’t do anything and they do all the work. THAT is not what I’m talking about.

I’m talking about doing the EXACT same job, or even the female being the boss and having some wet-behind-the-ears-hot-shot come in as support and being offered $20,000 right off the FREAKING bat.

My first professional job I came into a position vacated by a male. Somewhere along the line I found out the male who had the job prior to me was making $20,000 per year than I was. I was a struggling divorcee with two young children and barely making ends meet. I was working my ass off trying to make it and trying to prove myself as a professional. I was young and had to screw up all my courage to go into my bosses office and request an explanation as to why I was being paid so much less for the same job. Especially in light of the fact that everyone, including him, had praised me for being the best, most productive person he had ever had in that position.

He looked at me and said, ‘He has a family to support’.

‘So do I’, I replied.

‘But he’s the main bread winner in the family’.

‘So am I’.

Silence. And just looking at each other. Then I blinked first and asked him to take it under consideration. My salary was not changed.

There have been many similar incidents in the years following that first overt slam at the monetary value of my gender in the work place. I did learn to not blink first, but nothing really changed.

I’ve been told, ‘We’d love to raise your salary. You certainly deserve much more, but if we pay you any more you’ll be making as much as a man.’

I’ve been told, ‘If we raise you’ll salary, that would put you up in the executive range.’ I am an executive.

And now. I am the boss. I have been excruciatingly fair in my decisions regarding salary, probably because of my own previous experiencing.

So now comes a new position on the staff. It was proposed by the board that I answer to. I was hesitant at first, but finally supported creating this new position. Before I could turn half-way around the guy is hired and I’m being asked to a lunch meeting by the president and treasurer of the board. I’m thinking it’s about one thing, but it was about another.

They wanted to break the news to me about the compensation package they had offered him. Please note, this was done without my input which is highly out of order considering my position.

They hand me a piece of paper with his salary and other benefits. Everything was in line EXCEPT the salary, which was $20,000 more than I make. Starting out at $20,000 more. ALL my years of experience. The fact I built this place from scratch, the fact that the reason we need this guy is because of MY success in leading the business is all for naught.

No wonder they took me out to lunch to tell me.

I just looked at the paper in front of me and listened to their explanations and attempts to pacify me before I had even responded. They expected me to not be happy.

‘He was making more where he was before.’

‘Getting him is a coup, he had two other offers and we had to be competitive.’

‘We had to act quickly or he would have taken one of the other offers, we had no intention of leaving you out of the loop.’

‘You’ll tell [our financial person who does payroll] won’t you so she won’t be upset. Present it to her like this ….. ‘

I put the paper in my organizer and smiled. ‘I’m very excited he’s coming on board’, I said looking each of them in the eye. They were caught off guard. They were expecting a fight.

They began falling all over themselves to tell me about all the high expectations they have of him and how he’ll have to produce [this much] in order to keep his job. It won’t be easy for him. They won’t be easy on him.

‘Who will he answer to?’, I asked, ‘me or the board’.

Continuing their discomfort, they explained they haven’t gotten all that figured out yet. They had acted so fast they don’t have a job description or thought out how he will fit into the organization. We, the board and me, will meet with him weekly to keep updated on his progress.

‘So you are doing his job description and will evaluate him.’ I said more as a statement than a question. ‘I won’t have to monitor his progress or performance in any way.’

‘Yes, yes.’

‘What about when the board changes?’. It always changes. These guys will do their time on the board and then move on to other interests. They didn’t have an answer to that. ‘That’s a good point. We’ll have to create a policy for how to handle this position’. They made notes to themselves to do that. I thought, ‘That sure will make it hard to find someone willing to be the president of the board’.

I gave them no fight. I smiled and continued to say this is an exciting development. Having someone in this position will certainly enhance our success. I long ago learned my lessons on conducting a direct frontal assault in these kinds of situations.

I will bide my time. This is ill concieved and it is now completely not related to me, so I will not take the fall when it fails. Let them go for it.

They beat me to telling [the financial person]. Since I’m her boss, she came to me in tears. She’s been there 20 years and ‘it’s great they all tell me how valuable I am to the organization, but it’d be nice to be paid for it.’ ‘How can they justify this salary for someone just starting.’

I didn’t have any good answers for her.

‘We are women.’ I said.

I would write more but I’ve taken today off work. I have to put in a load of laundry, clean the kitchen, polish the wood floors and work on the 2007 budget. Oh, and I have to get some publicity materials ready for a meeting next week.

FUCK YOU WOMEN’S LIB.

Does she have the same problem, does she. What about him. How about her. Does she get paid the same as the Priest?

November 23, 2006

F**king holidays

Filed under: Just Bitchn'

What the F**k is it with the Holidays, anyway? You eat a ton of food, pretend to be nice to people who share your genes (or your spouse’s) but whom you would NEVER chose for friends, spend countless hours making the house spotless and spend more than you can afford.

All because this is how we celebrate the holidays.

I opted out of that BS this year. Thanksgiving is going to be turkey and trimmings sure, but it’s at home, just us and my folks. With football and the dog. Cooking in PJs rather than a dress.

Ok, I cleaned. But that was as much for logistics as for presentation.

I don’t have to smile at the inlaws and listen to their pathetic ignorant political pronouncements. I don’t have to close my dropped jaw quickly when one of them recounts their latest mistake and the chaos it created in their life. I don’t have to watch my beloved husband try to do the same things.

More importantly, I don’t have to watch him hurt as he tries to deal with all of the bombs dropped in his lap as the conversation moves from topic to topic and event to event.

Christmas is going to require alcohol……

November 22, 2006

Babs Bitch

BabsSpeaking of bitches. Have you seen this one?

She’s got her own blog in which she writes:

Thank you all for raising your voices by coming out to vote. My faith in the American public has been restored. Harry Truman once said to the people “I wonder how many times you have to be hit on the head before you find out who’s hitting you.” Well, on November 7, 2006, the people finally found out. Our great country showed that it has the power to correct itself through the election process. Our votes changed the unequal and unhealthy balance of power that has led this country astray for the past 6 years. The public is tired of the ugliness and the mean spiritedness. The American people want to come together and they want our leaders to work together to finally accomplish the people’s business.

That’s just a small sampling of her skewed view of the world.

But then, this is coming from a woman who demands that fresh rose petals be put in her toilet bowl every morning. So what can you expect?

She also writes a lot of rantings and ravings about the evil Bush Regime. She has Bush Derangement Syndrome in the worst way. Personally, it’s just a rumor, but I suspect she had a thang for Billy’s willy. Don’t tell Mr. Streisand.

She likes to take on the Bush administration for over spending on the Battle of Iraq. She calls it the War in Iraq. She calls it a waste of money and writes about how that money could be spent so much more wisely.

BabAs a card carrying member of the liberal elite who is body-guarded, chauffeured, pampered, spoon-fed and has rose petals in her toilet bowl she sure has a lot of opinions about how to take care of the poor.

She’s a cliche.

Hey Babs. Take it from the Bitches of the Blogs.
Shut up and sing.

November 21, 2006

I Manipulated an Old Friend . . .

Filed under: Everything

by the wayinto taking me out to lunch. Then I watched a couple of music videos at his place. I started to feel drowsy, and a pillow and blanket magically appeared next to me.

“How come you always know what I want?” I asked him.

“Are you sure you want to know?” he replied.

I nodded, so he went on: “Because, ultimately, it’s a pretty short list.”

“Oh. Okay. By the way: fuck you.”

November 20, 2006

Rapunzil KatieWhat a futchah!

said a ‘guest’

“The wedding was amazingly lavish and beautiful. But to find you have a Scientology adviser sitting on every single table was rather weird.”

“It was almost as though Tom and Katie were trying to ram home their Scientology beliefs to their guests. It was surreal. Everyone felt more like they were at a Scientology convention than a wedding.”

…The wedding itself was the standard Scientology ceremony with Katie promising to stay with “his fortune at its prime and ebb and seek with him best fortune for us all” and Tom agreeing to provide Katie with “clothes and food and tender happiness and frills. A pan, a comb, perhaps a cat” and to support her even “when she’s older”.

but wait — a “scandal” emerges!

TOM Cruise and Katie Holmes were ALREADY wed before Saturday’s star-studded ceremony, they admitted last night.

OH! NO!!!!

There was absolutely no Deal or No Deal going either…

all of the guests have signed a contract pledging that they pay a $1million penalty if they talk to the media about the wedding or release any photos

a spokesperson for Giorgi Armani has confirmed that they will have photographers at the wedding in addition to those hired by Tom and Katie’s team, and the television rights to the ceremony have reportedly been sold for Euro1.5million - the same about as the Odescalchi family have requested for the use of the castle.

But hey — that’s just cuz they’re bestest frieeends, riight?

Bride, groom and even baby daughter Suri wore outfits designed by close pal Giorgio Armani. Guests received Armani goodie bags. [reportedly worth $7,500]

yeeeesh….

Lifts and bent knees and that lovin’ feeling.

Russia Gets it Wrong

Filed under: Everything

Russian women taught how to get their man

What do you do if the majority of the men in your country seem so self-absorbed, feckless or dependent on the bottle that there aren’t enough to go round?

Russian women believe that they have found the answer, with growing numbers flocking to “bitch schools” that purport to provide a competitive edge in a dwindling market of suitable bachelors, or provide those already in relationships with the skills to bring their men to heel.

Twice a week, women stream into the Dubrovka theatre in Moscow. Four years ago, 129 people were killed there during a botched attempt to free an audience taken hostage by Chechen extremists. Today its backstage rooms are home to a night school run by Vladimir Rakovsky, a motivational speaker, and his wife, Yevgenia, who teach “bitchology”.

Well, if you think that means I’ve got job opportunities in Russia, think again:

A successful “bitch”, Mr Rakovsky explains, is neither strident nor sassy, but demure, manipulative and aware of her own sexuality in order to get her own way.

“Bitchology is the theory, practice and technique of being successful in a man’s world,” he said. “A smart woman gets what she wants by pretending to be weak.”

Weak? WTF??? How dare he pervert the “bitchness” to weakness. That makes me want to kick his ass. And it gets worse:

Lessons begin with the philosophy of “bitchology”. The “bitch” should win favours by acting either as a helpless baby or, in rare situations, like an adult woman.

Then its off to the “school of seduction” in which the women learn to attract the most discerning of men by flaunting their sexuality. This week, students learned how to a work a room full of men just by dropping something, and picking it up, to “accentuate the most beautiful part of your body”. “If it’s your breasts, flaunt them, if it’s your backside use it,” Mrs Rakovsky, 21, told them.

Next week, she will focus on how to surreptitiously rub one’s breasts against an unsuspecting subject. In the final lesson, the women learn the art of the striptease.

The Rakovskys’ students swear by the technique which, according to one, gives every Russian woman what she wants: “Great sex, money and a man who looks after you.”

and…

Natalya, 33, said: “If I play the role of a baby, my man begins to take care of me. He behaves like he has to protect me.”

Oh fuck that! I just might have to kill that bastard!!

November 18, 2006

Stupid C*** Watch: Roseanne Barr

Filed under: Everything

CNN isn’t top on my list of “must watch” (it’s only marginally more credible than Al Jazeera) and the idea of watching Larry King puts my television at risk of having a shoe thrown at it.

So damn you (you know who you are) for dangling the carwreck of Larry King interviewing Roseanne Barr.

The link is to the transcript. I figured linking to the video was just too cruel.

From the getgo you need to understand that between these two intellectual giants, their combined IQ just might run a Teddy Ruxpin … for about ten minutes … and Teddy would be more entertaining.

The always fawning King slathers the flattery on Roseanne like mayo on a turkey sandwich (and considering the acreage on that turkey, the mayo comes in ten gallon drums). Roseanne’s verbal skills match her intellect (makes you wonder why people go to watch her show … laugh with her or at her?) and King is relentless in getting her to hold forth on a variety of tough and weighty issues.

KING: On your blog you write, “Bush is going to declare war on China next, I swear.”

BARR: I was so scared because I woke up and there was the Drudge, you know. I always read the Drudge Report and it said on there that the Chinese were like, you know, spying on our subs or doing something with our subs and I was like, “Oh no, he’s going to think that’s an act of war and then we’re going to go over there next.” I mean we’re everywhere. We’re everywhere.

I’m like, Drudge should get a restraining order, you know?
KING: No, thanks. You’ve been rough on Bush and Cheney.

BARR: I’ve been rough on…

KING: Very rough haven’t you?

BARR: No. I don’t think I’ve been rough on them, no, not at all. I think they’ve been rough on the country but I don’t think anybody could be rough enough on them. You know they — I don’t like what they’re doing and neither does anybody else. And I’m so glad now that it’s like proof that nobody liked it and they want it to stop.

I guess everyone that didn’t vote According To Barr is a “nobody.” Nice to know where those that disagree with her stand, like, you know?

But hey, don’t think that Roseanne doesn’t have some solid answers on how to bring down the deficit and help children

BARR: That I — that I’m getting old that’s a big regret.

KING: Yes, me too, except can’t do anything about it.

BARR: No, can’t do anything about it. But, you know, at least you could be honest about it and like really accept the fact that you are old and that maybe it is time for you to start moving on rather than using artificial ways to keep yourself alive at all the children’s expense. I mean really that’s kind of what it is. […] …if we’re taking everything and putting it on the national Visa card and passing the interest on to our kids we can probably save them a lot of interest if we just like let ourselves go earlier and stuff like getting them artificial hearts and the lungs and the fake. You know we should just die when we’re old and we should decide…

KING: Good luck and goodbye.

BARR: …you know, it’s like 60 I think people especially of our generation. At 86 if they’re, you know, they should just end their lives and that will like help save a lot of children.

KING: It would. It would reduce the population.

BARR: Yes but from the top down.

Can you say Nationalized Medical Care? I knew you could! :::cough::: Soylent Green :::cough:::

Roseanne shows her economics chops on why she supports an increase in the minimum wage

KING: If you do that people are going to lose jobs.

BARR: Now that’s what they say. It just means they won’t have quite so much in bonuses for their wives’ jewelry that year, you know. People at the bottom they’ll have like, you know, maybe $50 more a week. You know there’s — we talked about raising the minimum wage. I think we need to next think about a maximum wage. That’s not to say that rich people can’t continue to get rich. That’s cool but not to the point where people are, you know, refugees at the bottom.

Of course, Roseanne is humble to admit she doesn’t come up with all these enlightened thoughts on her own …
BARR: i write 24/7. I get up and I’m like a big old transmitter. If it’s like 3:00 a.m. and something comes in, this pipe, I run down and put it out there. If somebody comes down this pipe, I run it out there. I’m getting a lot of transmissions from other dimensions and I want and represented on the net.

KING: Oh, no, we’re not back to that again.

BARR: Well, that’s all part of it. It’s about thinking outside the box. How much more outside the box can you be when you’re like actually get outside that box? You might find out that there is a whole cyber world.

KING: Is someone transmitting to you now?

BARR: Yes, someone is always transmitting through me, always.

KING: Do you have a transmitter — does he or she have a name, your transmitter?

BARR: Just — it’s just — no, it does not have a name.

KING: Just —

BARR: And even if it did, I would not be able to be speaketh it.

Ah! The Muse that dare Not Speak Its Name!

Because, like, you know, it might Go Away, and you won’t ever get this much enlightenment ever again.

Caption This #1

Filed under: Everything, Pictures

So sad. They look so sad. Cheer them up with a clever caption.

bitch slap Confederate Yankee and Scared Monkeys

This one is sad too. It’s humiliating.

It’s called PLANNING AHEAD, people

Filed under: Everything, Just Bitchn'

So I’m sure that by now you’ve all heard about the violent incidents around the country tied to the release of the Playstation 3 video game console.

Shootings, Stabbings, Riots. Come on people, it’s a f*cking video game, for goodness sake.

A $600.00 video game.

But it’s still a game.

Not to mention that the launch consoles are likely NOT backwards compatible at all.

Look, you could have avoided the situation altogether by using one of two very simple alternatives:
1. Purchase the damn thing from a store that had a pre-order list. You give your name and contact info, pay a small deposit, and walk in and claim the thing without having to wait all night before launch day.
-or-
2. You exercise patience. Don’t you have enough to do with the rest of your life? Can’t you play the old games for a couple more weeks? Can’t you just tell your whiny brat kids NO?

Oh that’s right. you can’t. My bad.






















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